By Master Buz Lawson

DEFINING A CONTRACT

Webster’s New World Dictionary, Compact School & Office Edition

Copyright © 1970 by THE WORLD PUBLISHING COMPANY

con-tract (kon´trakt;n.[L.com-,together + trahere, draw], an agreement, esp. a written one, enforceable by law.

Though the contracts we are speaking of are by no means enforceable by law, they nonetheless embody the agreement of two or more parties to the same components as the above-definition would imply, enforceable only in the popular court of our community:

Definitions

     Defining the parties to the agreement and their perspective roles in relation to it.

     Defining the terms to be used in the contract.

Terms

The agreed upon terms to be adhered to by all parties to the contract.

Duration

The agreed upon length of time the contract is to be considered in effect.

Limitations & Remedies

 The length of time to which both parties agree to be bound by the terms of the contract.

 The agreement by all parties to the means by which any party to the contract may be released from it.

 Remedies for breach. (to include the conditions under which the contract may be considered void for such breach)

Amendments

 The means by which new terms may be agreed to, to be included in the terms of the original contract.

 The means by which the duration may be extended, by agreement.

Signatures

 A signature block indicating that the foregoing represents the full understanding of all parties, and space for all concerned parties and witnesses to affix their signatures, indicating full agreement.  Each signature should be dated.

DEFINING YOUR CONTRACT

 KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOUR NEEDS AND EXPECTATIONS  ARE

 MAKE YOUR NEEDS AND EXPECTATIONS PART OF YOUR CONTRACT

WHO ARE YOU?

Master

 Daddy

 slave

 boy/boi

In defining yourself, have you discovered yourself to be fully integrated?  Is the moniker you have chosen for yourself a reflection of who you really are, or a projection of a favorite fantasy?  In other words, is this the true and sustainable you, or are you simply hoping to explore?  If the latter is true, you should be negotiating a scene and not a contract.  Think about it.  Can you live this?  If you think so, proceed with caution.

Define your needs and expectations

Before you can consider entering into a contract that you intend to honor, all parties to that contract have to define what their needs and expectations are.  This process must be brutally honest, and in negotiations, each must declare openly what their experience in relation to these needs and expectations are, as well as to what degree each is willing to expand on that experience.  Failing to honestly communicate these things can lead to disaster for all parties to a contract.

Hidden or undisclosed agendas are inherently dishonest, and dishonesty is the antithesis of trust.  If you cannot be fully honest with yourself and with the person you are negotiating with, your contract will likely become a prison from which you will both desperately seek escape.  Contracts broken under these circumstances, while not damaging in a legal sense, tear away at self-esteem and, in the eyes of any witnessing such devastation, a collective sense of blame and judgment of unworthiness can result.

How long should it take to negotiate a contract?

The period of time for negotiations is regulated by the negotiations, themselves.  No one should enter into a contract hastily.  Only when all parties to a contract find a mutually satisfying set of terms should a contract even be presented, and even then, all parties should be willing to negotiate any changes before the final contract is signed.

If you and the person or persons you are negotiating with can come to honestly arrived at and mutually acceptable terms in the space of a week (good luck), then by all means, draw up the papers.  Such contracts can take months to negotiate, and this is not to say that the parties to the contract aren’t willing or even anxious to commit.  The negotiation process is one that will, in and of itself, define the nature of the relationship as much, if not more so, as the dried ink on paper does.  After all, the contract should be a reflection of what all parties to it have decided on together.

                Unlike legal contracts between corporations, businesses and the like, these contracts govern relationships.  Be sure that your contract outlines and defines a relationship that will be satisfying for all of the parties involved.  Keep in mind that negotiating does not conclude as the ink dries.  Paper is not stone, and pens are not chisels.